For today’s TMI Tuesday, which is the first time I’m doing this, here’s my blasty blast:

One time I was running an easy run, at a very early hour (~4AM). It was 5 miler, 2.5 out and back, meaning the furthest I could get away from my house was 2.5 miles.

When I got to 2.5 miles, I felt the rumbles and/or jumbles in my stomach region. With every step it got worse and worse. But I fought it. The rumbles got bigger, but I resisted more.

When I was 0.6 miles from home I had the opportunity to go into an open building, but the rumbles completely subsided. Winner!

Nope. Loser.

As I turned into my apartment complex, with less than a quarter mile to run, the jumbles returned with the force of an F5 tornado. 

I was less than 1/100th of a mile from finishing my run when it happened. My body told me I was no longer in charge and that evacuation was not a voluntary action.

That’s right. I crapped my pants. And not like a shart. No, a shart is no story. People shart every day, maybe every hour. No, no, this was much worse than that.

I waddled home, my hands cupping the disgust in my pants.

When I arrived home, my wife tried to be sympathetic but couldn’t help but laugh. Oh, the dangers of running.